Blame-Game

The anti-depressants that I take,
The reason why I hyperventillate,
is cos you're never tired
of dumping me with all the blame.
The blame I cannot take,
The blame that has left me in a shape,
that can be anything but the same.
The same way I was, that I knew.
But that wont matter to you.
Cos you never loved me the way I do.
You never cared to see things through,
through all I had to put up with,
just wanting to be with you.
But that was nothing.
Nothing at all.

Nothing you could do could ease the pain,
but it just drove me to the point,
far beyond insane,
than I already had become.
I'm tired of the blame-game,
that has kept you engaged,
Continuously questioning my sanity,
when you were anything, but sane.

What good are your eyes?
If they cant poinyt out the difference
between the truth and your lies.
Lies that you hold true.
Lies that can only keep you alive.

The wax souvenire of our togetherness,
that I had built with my burning hands,
took the least of your concerns,
for you let it melt.
Cos you crossed the thin line, towards disgrace,
And put me with the blame,
that I was the flame,
To burn it all away.

The sweet flavour of your face
as I had known it to be,
is lost.
Lost in the excessive tinge of salt that has made my skin
tasteless to your make-believe.
The false-show you set up,
To fulfil the guidelines of your creed.
The blame-game that never let me grow,
But kept me hidden inside my seed.

Made me believe,
You were with me.
But once I turned the other way,
You engaged in your favourite blame-game.
Nudging me silently from behind
towards my pre-ordained grave.

By those looks, you did deceive
the faintly-lit flame of hope,
that glowed dimly inside me,
Which gave me the warmth I needed.
Which you extinguished by the cold-rush,
of the ivy stings of your accusations and lies,
that did let me freeze inside,
forcing me to die
before my pre-ordained time.

Digging my own grave, alone with salty eyes,
I choose to remain in silence.
Deep in thoughts of all I had to see
that I had to face,
in your presence.
As I go down, I look up with incredulous eyes,
that you've come out of nowhere to bury me alive,
With the sands that'll fill my hollowed self,
Embracing me like no one else,
To make feel whole once again,
To let the merciful angels from heavens descend,
To mark the spot, so they can see,
Where you blamed to death, a soul like me...

// Got to be the longest poem I ever wrote.... I think its crap... Gathered enough courage to post this here..