When no words are spoken for a long time,
Not a word, when you're with her.
When you are quiet
and in silence, you've found your world.
And Still you feel your time's worth spent,
Still you find peace in the silence,
That's when you know,
The love you have is still there.
When the mind runs short of the right words.
When it fights to find them.
When it knows it should say something,
But not what to say,
or How to say it.
When you find yourself
Strangulated,
in the Uncomfortable Silences,
That's when you know,
Its Over.
6 comments:
gr8..!
I told you already this one's scary like hell. I also told you that's not a bad thing; quite the opposite. I stand behind my words on to those things. And as I said, I think the scary feeling comes from the black and white melancholy you've captured in it.
The line "and in silence, you've found your world" is the scariest line in the whole piece. Not even all the lines of the second stanza together can compete with it. That is partly because it gives the feeling that silence is the way it's supposed to be; that talking and showing interest is not what two people who love one another should be doing at all.
I wonder if you see my point... For if that particular line wasn't there, I would think you have created a poem that isn't scary at all. (;P) It would then be a happy, universal, true poem. However, then the poem would not be as good as it is this way; I would not remember it afterwards because it hadn't arousen any feelings in me.
Then again I don't want you to think the poem would be total crap without that one line because there are several other brilliant lines there as well, such as:
"When the mind runs short of the right words
When it fights to find them"
and the ending (last 5 lines together, didn't quote cos it would've taken even more space xD)
and the rhyming in the first stanza is truly fascinating. ^^
So, have I made myself clear? :D
Sorry for the length... and ask if anything remained unclear... (I just though you might want a larger analysis for once... delete this if u want :P)
@ Rose,
I dont mean to say that talking and showing interest is something two people in love should NEVER do at all!! What I'm tryin to say is that you dont need to do that ALL THE TIME!! more like: you dont want enthusiasm to be grounds of a progressive relationship as your cover. Sometimes, words fail where silence can literally prove "golden"
I wanted to put it this way, but okay if you find it scary, *rollin eyes*
Thanks for the "longest-comment-ever-in-all-my-blog" ;P and, like i would ever delete it *raisin eyebrow*
I KNOW you meant it the way you just described. *rolling eyes*
I can know how you want ppl to see it and how it's supposed to be seen, but I can still, unwillingly, feel the opposite (another heart versus brain thing maybe...)
okay maybe i should just shut up. xD
naah... go on if u like!!! xD
Woah. This says a lot to me. And about me as well. It's sad and as Roosa is saying, actually a bit scary; but that is only in a good way. Made me think. <3
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