Tempted

Don’t push me enough
I’m already tempted to tell
I better stay by myself
I better stay hurt.
You’d want that as well
More than anything else

Words would spoil the signs and secrets
That would otherwise remain.
Revelations would only choke you to death
When you could breathe again

Simple secrets will become bitter truth
When you hear them
And you’ll know what you made me.
Hidden lies will become ugly scars
When you uncover them
And you’ll know I was never free.

Don’t push me enough
I’m already tempted to tell
I better stay by myself
I better stay hurt.
You’d want that as well
More than anything else

For All The Wrong Reasons

Why do we increase the distance

And then build bridges?

Why do we kill the purpose

And then resurrect it?

I'd still want to be somewhere close

Still a standing piece in the game.

I'd still want to keep running into you

Like a moth to a flame.

So why do you blame me

Put me to question

For All The Wrong Reasons?

When I'm only trying...

Why do we build dreams

And then detonate them?

Why do we suppress the screams

And them amplify them?

I'd still want to be a part of the scene

Still a little more than just a name.

I'd still want you to let me in

Like a moth to a flame.

So, why do you blame me

Put me to question
For All The Wrong Reasons?

When I'm only trying...

Sanity is exinct

You Didn't Notice

Footsteps faded away,
But we still kept walking.
Like distant sounds in the background,
Silence crept in.
There was no talking.
And You Didn't Notice a thing.

Time kept rolling,
But we kept standing still.
Like stings kept stretching,
Till they broke off.
The distance kept increasing
And You Didn't Notice a thing.

Curtains were drawn,
But our song kept playing,
Like silent humming backstage.
Credits rolled in.
Our musical had its climax,
And You Didn't Notice a thing.

Don't Let Them See Me Cry

Don't let them see me cry,
When the winds blow hard and drown me.
I'll come out when time will fly,
So long as I'm no more afraid to be.

Let me be in darkness for a while.
Don't turn on the lights,
So I can make some sense of the situation
And try putting up it with a smile.

Even though the smile won't be real.
They wouldn't know.
Just don't let them see me cry.

Don't let them see me cry.

Friends Still

The connection broke and the lines were cut.
It didn't work out the way it should have.
You said nothing would change.
We'd stay Friends Still.
I preferred the old way.

Phone lines were blocked and my eyes were shut.
Wish things went the way they should have.
This relationship was going to lose its name.
We'd stay Friends Still,
But I preferred the old way.

Things shall not be the same.
I prefer the old way.

Blame

We made a plan
And then made it change.
If something goes wrong,
We'll be the ones to blame.

I cannot lie to myself.
Neither can you.

We made a promise,
And that meant something.
I remained to be the roots.
But you decided to take the wings.

We made a decision.
We even shook on it.
If things don't be the same,
We'll both be the ones to blame.

Let It All Happen

The stars have stopped shining for me.
They stopped shining when I dimmed the lights,
And let it all Happen.

The birds have stopped chirping.
They stopped chirping when I cut their wings,
And let it all Happen.

The best thing in my life disappeared.
And I Let it all Happen.

Diary Moment

"Dear Diary",
It always starts with this.
Has there been anything else?

Can't find it.
It's so obvious it's hidden
Somewhere in your dusty shelf.

Silly thoughts, little voices,
Everything saved up in it.
Bitter cries, Difficult choices,
Still you won't find me in it.

I even fell down
To invading your privacy.
Trying to look me up,
In your little diary.
To see if I can find a place for me.
To see if there's even my name in it.

Silly thoughts, little voices,
Everything saved up in it.
Bitter cries, Difficult choices,
Still you won't find me in it.

So, let me ask you this.
have I ever been in
Your Diary Moment?

Mind Reader

Someone come try read my mind,
And take in, whats eating me alive,
Make some sense of all there is,
And tell me what you find.

I don't know whats going on in your head,
I cant even speak for myself.
I don't know if I should be the one to charge,
Or stand up in my defense.

I don't fucking know...

I'm not a Mind Reader,
I only wish I was...

Don't Die, Hope

Don't die, Hope.

They took your wings off,

And rooted you to the ground.

Time and again they tested you,

And read out your fears aloud.

Its still not the time yet,

Rub off the muck they threw at your face.

Stand up and get back your fallen grace.

Don't Die, Hope.

They stung you with their poison,

And put your lights out.

Time and again they questioned you,

And answered to your horrors aloud,

Leaving you without a doubt.

Its still not the end just yet,

You've seen better days,

Even though right now they seem too

Out Of Place.

Don't hang up on me, Hope.

You're the last one I could resort to,

Last one to understand.

Don't die, Hope.

Is that too much to ask?

Sugar-coated

Perfect.
Everything that you ever see.
Flawless.
Like it should always be.

I wonder if you've ever lied,
Or If you've ever missed the right spot.
I wonder if you've ever denied,
Being satisfied,
With all that you've got.

There in your Sugar-Coated life,
You keep facing the day
With that plastic smile.

There in your Sugar-Coated pride,
You keep standing on the top
With your head held high.

Hidden.
Something that I cannot see.
Missing.
Like it should never be.

I wonder if you've ever lied,
To yourself that everything was all right.
I wonder if you've ever denied,
Only wishing,
If there could be more to it.

There in your Sugar-Coated life,
Your feet are rooted on the floor,
By the burnt, charred remnants of it all.

There in your Sugar-Coated pride,
Looking down at what you've done
In your world where you're the only one.

And Justice To All

Blindfolded Justice stares at me.
She can see through me
As I perjure before the law.
Disregarding the oaths of sanctity,
Killing the law's intent to bring redress
And Justice to All.

Proven Guilty by the jury.
Guilty for all the world to see.
I did perjure before the law.
Angering the Gods for trying to take charge
To bring about change in the world
And Justice to All.

Necessary

Hold the keys to my heart,
And break into it stealthily.
Smashing the window,
Walk over the shards
And say it was neccessary.

Hold the glue that holds me up,
And watch me fall to pieces.
Smashing the concrete,
Walk all over me
And say it was necessary.

Just do whatever pleases you,
Even if that'll make me pay.
Do whatever suits you best,
As long as you wish to stay
And still say it was necessary.

The Fragile Rose

Digging up memories she once saved

In that box buried in the timeless ground

That one rainy day when all she craved

Was to reflect on her life another round

And so it happened one stormy night,

Closing doors left empty tracks behind.

A prank of God for our crooked kind,

Yet her laughter was all one could find.

Strange how I could know this person in entirety,

When only twice I've heard this girl's voice.

Strange how we've diverged so many times,

Yet got back and made the right choice.

Under a spell of black magic potion

Her hands move like petals across the paper

Changing the world with such a devotion

Even while just sipping her joe.

Petals paint the words that can move the soul,

To another level of dimension,

Bearing power to sow the seeds

Of accord in the roots of dissension.

Innocence hidden behind the eternal mock,

Under the guise of eyebrows of sarcasm and bluff.

One of those things that drives us mad,

Yet we never seem to be satisfied enough.

She can dance her way through dark caverns,

And knit brightness all around,

Paint the serenity on our faces,

With colors and life abound.

Justice in our hands, poetry in our veins

Sitting in the classroom or maybe chasing trains

Doesn’t matter where we are, she always makes my day

The holy book by my side, listening to me pray

Silly questions, Silly games,

Wild answers, and calling names.

Doesn’t matter where we are, she always makes me smile,

Even though we're far apart by a thousand miles.

Dazed we are about the world's mysteries,

How one mind can be split in three,

In the likes of us for we tread the same ground,

Scattered in the world all around.

How this will elevate the look on her face,

Only one shall see while the other paint the picture in his mind,

The Dark Lord, shall go waltzing while the Beaver stands to watch,

Till only mysteries and doubts are left to find.

Standing amidst the maple fields,

Keeping the color of her life pressed close.

Petal follows petal, as she brings us love,

For she's the Fragile Rose.

*************************************************************************************

This is my first collaboration with Jussi aka Cabadath as a birthday present to one of my best friends Roosa aka The Fragile Rose . Check the blogs of both these guys if you dig genious and kickass poetry! I had real fun writing this with Jussi, which is partly cos of the person we were writing this for. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROSE!! ^^

I'll Accept it Anyway

Dont lie to me,

Never let me get it all wrong.

Dont apologise to me,

Even if you havent been playing along.

I'm willing to live with the fact that you can never be wrong,

Even if that'd mean letting myself down.

I'm willing to live with the fact that maybe I'm pushing too hard

In this game when all you wanna do is live your life.

But somewhere down the line,

Maybe if you could try knowing how it feels

To be taken for granted like I have been.

Maybe somewhere down the line,

You'd realise that all this while,

There was a side of this story you'd never seen.

Dont lie to me,

Just tell me straight what you need to say.

Dont apologise to me,

I'll accept it anyway.

Continuing to be a friend to you

While you keep living your life.

Oblivion

Chronological series of apocalyptic events,
Turn up with the tides of time.
Death of an illusion and the dawn of the truth
While we remain
In oblivion of our crimes.

Latent forces disappear while screams soar high.
Perihelion draws nearer as brave men die.
Claustrophobic fears start welling in our minds
While we remain
In oblivion like the rest of our kind.

Pure light in us that this world seeks to devour.
Its raining fire while the minions sell their souls
For a drop of the elixir to rupture their seed,
To heal the wounds they had to bleed,
While paying the debts of their oblivion.

What if its the Devil that shows mercy,
While the Angel builds on wrath?
What if its not the sprouting seeds that make us live
But fire that's disrupting our path?

The world's facing extinction
With this implosion inside.
The end is near,
But who are we to decide?

Drying Leaf

Dew drops that once glorified her beauty,
Now turns to air,
Bringing a scar on her face,
That wasn't even there.

For she's standing rooted to this ground
Where once there were more like her, all around.
Fighting the Sun. Fighting the heat.
Fighting hard against her defeat.

Drying Leaf.
Dying Leaf.
She falls down after all.
Her end as a means
for us to enjoy the Fall.

How sinful can we be...

---------------------------------------------------------

Based on what's going on right now =/

Wind

The winds brought sand in my eyes,
I can no longer see
The waves that come rushing,
Leaving me blind in the sea.

I tried to understand the details
Of why you kept away.
So I Could try to win you back,
Before it was too late.

Our ships have struggled in the winds of the storm.
They've put up with a lot of problems already.
We can't afford to crash into a rock,
Now that we've set off for the journey into sea.

I wish you would understand
How it'd feel to be in the dark for too long.
I wish you could at least try
To realize that your promise was a lie.

Try going away another time,
But tell me before,
So I wont try stop you.

This truth has finally come down to me,
Come down to me with force.
Don't you blame the wind
If our ships have changed their course.

Roadblocks and Roadsigns

Walking over dead grass,
Under the scorching Sun,
By the side of the highway,
Avoiding being overrun.

You've broken me too many times
And tried mending me back.
I let you do it all
Thinking I was on the right track.

This road leads to unknown places,
But I don't know where to go.
All I know is that I'm searching for the sign,
To direct me the way, away from home.

It's time that you understood,
Your memories are blocking my path.
Why do you want me to take this as a sign?
To go back to the one that was never never really mine.

You signaled me the green light,
When you knew I'd be overrun.
I cant listen to you now
You better be happy, now that you've won.

You're the Roadblock in my way
And the Road-sign to confirm my fear.
Blocking my way to where I need to go,
For reasons only you find real.

I'll need to find a diversion to this road,
So I know I'm not dying.
I know my chances are thin,
But that won't stop me from trying.

Slow Down

Have I been talking to myself?
Or are you really listening?
This silence is only displeasing.

Have I been moving too fast?
Or are you too slow?
This distance is only increasing.

Please, talk to me,
Open up with what’s bothering you.
I’m standing here, confused,
Unable to tell the difference
Between lucid dreams and the truth.

Please, tell me
Don’t keep it all to yourself.
I’m here, trying to hold on
To your hand as we walk,
Holding tight so we don’t get lost.

If you think I missed out on something,
Tell me,
And I’ll do it all the way around.

If you think I’m moving too fast for you,
Tell me,
And I’ll slow down.

The Darkness!! (Made up anime series) :P

Boredom does indeed lead to strange things. The 2 hour physics classes can be really counted as one of the most sinfully boring things for a person like me, or any other person for that matter! There I was, in one of the last benches, my mind drawing up several visions and dreams right in front of the teacher, who could have well sworn that I was concentrating on what he was trying to say :P . One anime face led to another and... next thing I knew, I had a whole variety of different characters and expressions!! xD




P.S : The Japanese written in the picture will not make sense to a reader who can read the language (Jussi, you may try!! xD ) I copied some alphabets from my keyboard's User Manual xD . Apologies if anyone's offended =/

Uncomfortable Silences

When no words are spoken for a long time,
Not a word, when you're with her.
When you are quiet
and in silence, you've found your world.
And Still you feel your time's worth spent,
Still you find peace in the silence,
That's when you know,
The love you have is still there.

When the mind runs short of the right words.
When it fights to find them.
When it knows it should say something,
But not what to say,
or How to say it.
When you find yourself
Strangulated,
in the Uncomfortable Silences,
That's when you know,
Its Over.

Not Your Suicide

Cut yourself a vein.
Your only way
To run away
From the shame
That’s not even yours.

See the flow of red
On the floor below
As your eyes drowse to darkness.
Your only way
To free you from yourself.

You’re not gonna die
But live through the pain
Not more than the one
To drive you to your exteme.
See the blade’s edge
Tainted with what you called
Betrayal.
Your insides burning up
Drawing hallucinations in your head
Seeking your revenge
From yourself.

One full flashback of memories,
That could last a lifetime
In seconds.

When your eyes finally take the fall,
While the pain grows up on you
In seconds.

Whatever you do,
You’re not gonna die anyway.

Its not your suicide
It’s a new beginning…

Wrong Side of the Road

Something hit me the other day
Everything had an added shade.
A shade that I'd never seen,
or maybe even never dreamed.

Pictured myself to be on the wrong side
of the most normal things.
All odds set against me
I'm running to break free.

Hate how it feels
to drive
on the Wrong Side
of the Road.
Tire-tracks on the melting asphalt,
Tattooed forevermore.

Not brave enough,
to cross the road,
wearing a blind-fold.
To be run over to be seen,
Not breathing anymore.

Thank You For Not Believing

Its like set in stone,
What I do
is never enough.

Wondering
What I did wrong,
to hit the wrong spot
All The Time.

Wondering
If there ever was something I did,
That didn't really hurt your fragile soul,

That you concluded,
I enjoyed doing it,
Watching you fall defeated.

Thank you.

Thank you for making me realize,
My actions were never right.
For making me understand,
my most insignificant words
can come out as loud and clear
To rip off your ego apart.

Thank you for not believing
In me...

Tell Myself I'm Living Life

I tell myself I’m living life,
Pretending it’s a “feel-good” ride,
Stealing glances away from all lies.

Pretending it never happened
That it never existed,
That I’m starting all over
From where I left off.

Evading all concerns-
So superficial.
With a smile on my face-
So artificial.
I could never forget the times
When I felt happy
Being Invisible.

I was all but nothing
Nothing in the game.
Just the last piece standing,
Left to lose,
In the hands of you.

It was my own, after all
However it was.
Doesn’t matter now,
I’ve lost the cause.
It holds my name no more
A part of me wounded,
That’ll never restore.

I tell myself I’m living life…

Wishing it never happened…


// Another of my emotionally close pieces. These really mean a lot to me. Seemed some moments ago that I was relaxed, when I got another "chapter" of my life to deal with. Just trying to drift away from it all, constantly telling myself, "Its okay". Dunno how long will that continue to be so, that is..... =/

Invisible

Never wanted,
Wanted only to be pushed
Over from behind.
Only to fall after I’ve played my part,
I rise all over again
Doing it all from the start.

When nobody sees me,
Nobody cares,
I’m happy.

None to bother to break me apart
That’s still due on recovering.

Never heard out,
Heard only to be laughed at,
Sneer behind my back,
Only to fall after I’ve let it all out of me,
I become silent in constant wonder,
How insignificant I can be.

When nobody hears my screams,
Nobody cares,
I’m happy.

None to bother to break me apart,
That’s still due on recovering.

Insignificant,
Invisible,
Things I’ll never grow out of,
What I’ll always be,
But I’m not complaining,
I’m still happy.

Still wishing,
Never to be seen.

// I HAD to vent out. There was nothing else I could do. Maybe I have a problem that I cant really explain. I just cant seem to even "try" to set things right. All i do is to let it have an effect on me, make myself suffer, even for someone else's actions. Maybe I AM the one to blame here.... I really dunno.

The Highest Bid Wins

"Weird how sometimes people around us can "sell their beliefs" in need to fulfill their desires and greed. But whats even worse and hypocritical is that we let it all happen even though we don't approve of it. How we can see and calculate our gains from someone else's losses is really a flaw we all need to get out of- let it rub off in time. But what if we never grow out of it?

What if we unknowingly remain to be hypocrites, having opinions of our own, which we can never execute?"

The Highest Bid Wins

Seated in your high chair,
Looking over buyers of your soul.
In the web of trading is split,
in parts of what remained whole.

Its your set-up show,
Where you sell your beliefs,
You auction your soul.

The Highest bid wins.

Letting go of what you've
nurtured all your life.
You've taken a step way too far.
When desire has outplayed passions.
When you sell them all in the darkest hour.

Outpouring bids made to call,
when all contradicting reasons fail.
You're robbed of your own face.
Your soul is on sale.

Its your set-up show,
Where you sell your beliefs,
You auction your soul.

The highest bid wins.

Behind those masked bidders,
maybe even I'm there.
Trying to save up
One charred fragment of you,
that's better left stored,
When giving up is all you do.

But even the smallest fraction of that raped soul,
I cant afford.

The Highest Bid Will Win...

Silly Questions

I keep asking myself
Silly Questions;
Expecting a wiser answer.

Insignificant existence stuck in my spine,
Do I really care to let it go?
Let the disease rub off in time,
Or do I let it all contagiously grow?

Watching through the broken
Shards of Glass,
Do I stop the bleeding of my veins?
Or do I let it all be,
Unchanged?

I keep asking myself
Silly Questions,
Expecting a wiser answer.

When no one knows the answer,
But me.

Yet I don't...


I don't like the way it turned out. But at least I got something after about 2 freaking months!!

Setting Conditions

Raise the bet
You're bound to win.
Tip the scales on your side.
You'll get what you want
Anyway.
Its a pre-decided victory
or so they say.

While you're busy
Setting Conditions,
Just know
This is a game I'm never gonna win.
The truth is set deep inside
My Skin.

Roll the dice
Spin the roulette.
Its your jackpot.
You've got yourself
The Winning Bet.

Just set all the conditions that you need
And tend to your childish greed.

I'm bound to give in anyway,
Your highly conditions
That I'm bound to obey.

*********************************
This one's really close and personal... I hate to think about it... I hate the man even more... :-|

Cliché

Go on
Live your clichéd story.
I'd be out of frame,
somewhere behind the scene.
Forget about me.

Build the walls and the roof.
Shelter your fantasies.
I'd be somewhere far,
Locked out.
Forget about me.

Create your own rules
For your clichéd dream.
It'll be the same even then.
Never more than
What it always seems.

Over and Out

Memories consumed

from my drowning mind.

Refreshed, Rearranged,

But I still cant find

That missing piece that's

kept me searching about.

Need to search it again

Over and Out.

Circles

Grappled in close battle
with the demons
that haunt my head.

Tired of those constant screams
that leave my soul
Half-dead.

Walking across a minefield
without a sensible aim,
Nothing to be found.

I keep moving in circles-
A never-ending path that's winded
All The Way Around.

********************************

Believe it or not, I wrote this while I was stuck in a geometry question :P (Sometimes I wonder of the weird moments that give me inspiration o_O )

Medicated Emotions

Eyes drowsing off to black,
As I walk towards the transcendental.
Sedated by the drug that can make me see
that can bring out the best in me.

Emotions trapped under my skin
Craving to be set free.
In my hypnotic sense of right and wrong
As I hover away from my agony.

I can know more than there is
to understand.
I can see things no one else can.
See that I'm finally opening up
Even though no one can notice that
Its the medications that enhance my emotions,
pleasing to look at.

Tranquilized in the state of hypnosis,
I can fully express what I truly mean,
Which I'd have otherwise kept hidden from you;
Letting them die, but for this medicated dream.

Blank Sheet

Unleash your mind's eye
and let it all out on me.
Look over your locked up thoughts,
And set them free.

I'm meant to be deprived,
Of my spotless white shine
To make you feel a li'l more alive.

Scatter words all over me,
Even draw up your visions if you please.
Just dont let me stay blank forever,
Never knowing whats underneath
those impenetrable walls of your mind.

You dont wanna live on,
Too much caught up on yourself.
Just know:
I can bear all your secrets like no one else.

Memories

Stand next to me,
but don't stay long.
You'll say you're right next to me,
There for me.
When you're anything but that,
To set those memories free,
that hide under your skin.
Failing to come back to me.

But they are my own
you're playing
your nasty game with.
Caught them, trapped them,
Called them your own;
When you knew the truth
Yet pretended to act unknown.

End your game
you play from my lack.
These memories you're playing with,
I want them back.

Asphyxiated

My panting lungs cant breathe,
this air thats so intoxicated.
You've punctured my lungs,
letting me die,
Ashyxiated.

In search of fresh air,
Trying hard to recover
from this asthma attack,
that has drawn my end,
Even Closer.

I'm no more living on my pills,
that sedate me to my desirable
Sound Sleep.

In need of a drug,
to save the soul that's drowning
Down Deep.

___________________________________
Based on exactly how I was feeling last night.. :P

Piece of Origami

Folded in the creases,
Painted in the blank spaces,
Make something out of me.
Let your imagination soar in the air,
Free.

I'm your piece of origami,
Surrendering to your will.
Dependant on your mind,
that'll bring out the best in me.

Build something on grounds of truth.
Erase the lies that were meant for me.
But dont be too hard.
You'll tear me apart.
Ignore the lies that lie down deep,
that can't be erased,
Were never meant to be.

Standing high on your bookshelf,
beautifully dressed.
I'm your piece of origami,
Creatively expressed.

Surrendered to your will,
Depending on your creativity.
I'm your piece of origami.
I'll be what you want me to be.

Hypochondriac

You swear words at me,
You wont take back.
Run away from me,
You've changed your track.
Pass glares at me.
Sneer at my lack.
But I can help but smile,
I'm your sweet li'l hypochondriac.

Loving every pain you give me,
Collecting every tear I've ever wept.
Taking them in my arms,
I wont let go.
There's no sufference,
not that I know of,
that can't be mine,
When pain is all I define myself with;
When pain makes me feel strangely fine.

Considering this nausea taking over me,
Feeling:
This is the way I'm meant to be.
And I'm happy,
to be the way I've been.
Not a moment spent in anxiety,
Imagining things that make me believe,
I'm surviving this persistent heart-attack.
I'm your sweet li'l hypochondriac.

Words

I know that maybe words are never enough,
to make you feel.
But words are all I have,
to make you see ,
make you believe,
You are what you mean to me.

I truly define myself by all those words you'd laid.
And only words can express the bond we'd made.
Only words are what I have to say.
That concrete definition ofwhat we should be,
I feel the same way.

________________________________________
Based on what I've felt about a certain concrete definition and how I can truly define myself by those words. :) Enjoy!!